Conflict, Escalation & Intimacy
My Dear
People,
Some years ago a wise woman said to me, "Conflict brings
intimacy."
Indeed it does. Or, more accurately, it can.
If we
are willing.
If we are open.
If we are humble
enough.
If we are brave enough.
To do the
work.
At the same time,
we all know how delicious a fight can be.
We've all been there. (And
we will be again.)
The seductive power of the ego is mighty.
As
Eckhart Tolle reminds us, in The Power of Now,
"The ego needs problems, conflict, and 'enemies' to strengthen the sense of
separateness on which its identity depends." Problems, conflict, enemies, and
drama.
With any conflict
we face, we are presented with a choice: intimacy or escalation.
Which
will we choose?
Which will Christ
choose?
Intimacy.
Every time.
But we mustn't
misunderstand. Intimacy isn't for wimps.
Intimacy is always harder
work, and braver work, than escalation. In the final analysis, escalation
(which is another word for "violence") is flight.
To stay, on the other
hand, is to do the tougher, more courageous work.
To stay is to
reconcile.
To stay is to Christ.
In the Garden of
Gethsemane, Peter drew his sword and shed blood.
Jesus told him to put
it away.
And Jesus stayed.
And he asked his disciples to stay
with him.
