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‘A Friedmanian Moment’
Posted by Wallace+
Rabbi Edwin Friedman, the late author and family systems therapist, has influenced countless people, among them legion upon legion of ordained ministers, across denominations and faiths.
Friedman wrote and taught about how human systems operate, be it a nuclear family, a nation, a baseball team, or an order of monks, providing deep and often witty insight for those interested in improving the health (the functioning) of those systems.
A very Friedmanian moment, from one of his lectures (a recording of which a friend passed along to me), has stayed with me for years: The rabbi remarked upon how, in many churches, people put up with a lot of unkind and unpleasant behavior out of a vague notion that it would be "un-Christian" to confront those behaving poorly. And, indeed, the rabbi continued, often in synagogues, people are unwilling to hold one another accountable for comparably bad behavior, out of the very same vague notion that it would be "un-Christian" to do so.
We get the rabbi's irony, right?
Of course there is no real community, be it Christian, Jewish, Muslim, or otherwise, without, among other things of course, accountability. Compassionate accountability, yes; but, nonetheless, accountability just the same.
In a word, the un-Christian thing is not to hold one another accountable.
Tags: accountability, rabbi edwin friedman, word from grace street
